still here...

I didn't go on the cruise.  Please don't leave me any "Oh, I'm so sorry!" comments.  I don't mean that in a harsh way--I just mean that I didn't go because I was really anxious about flying with my ears still being kind of plugged up.  I've had horrible hay fever--the pollen is so thick right now that the cars are covered in it.  The artist's manager who'd handled my arrangements understood.  Told me he suffers from bad allergies, too, and has had a couple of flights where he thought his eardrums would explode upon descent.  They're finally starting to open up and I simply didn't want to mess with flights.  So don't cry for me, Argentina. ;)  I get the weekend to just...exhale...move to my own rhythms...have some space...  And all of it is much needed after feeling so stressed out the past few weeks. 

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On a separate note (and I haven't even told Jeffrey about this yet--he was gone most of yesterday and this morning we were focused on getting him packed and to the airport)...  By accident (via reading a link and then being reminded of someone and Googling him) I learned yesterday that one of my oldest, dearest friends died last summer.  I was devastated to read that news online.  I hadn't spoken to him in years, but he still pops up in my thoughts occasionally.  It gets worse.  What I also saw online was that four years before his death, he'd been beaten by two police officers in the town where he'd lived for decades.  (A very liberal, white university town...just like this one.)  He wasn't charged with a crime and when he took the city to court, he won a quarter million dollar lawsuit.  But his injuries had led to surgery and left him with a permanent limp.  I (obviously) had no idea that he'd been through all of that (we were off the mainland during that time).  It broke my heart to read about it.  I'd known him for 35 years.  He was my first love.  Imagine for a moment your first love.  Now imagine that person being dragged from their car and beaten by two people with metal clubs, all while the person stood there open-palmed--taking, not resisting, the blows. 

I'm sorry to be sharing such upsetting news, but it's been a helluva 24 hours.  Canceling my getaway...and then being utterly shocked and upset over that news.  I try not to talk too often on this blog about politics or issues or race--at least I try to bring them up less than I did at my previous blog.  But this is the reality I live in.  As I've said before, I'm supporting Barack Obama for President because I honestly believe he's the best candidate with the best character for this critical time for our nation.  I'm not voting for him because he's half-black.  But his race is an important part of who he is, and I personally haven't spoken to anyone who wasn't moved by the speech he gave on race on March 18th.  (If you didn't see it, I encourage you to join the more than 3-1/2 million people who've watched "A More Perfect Union" on YouTube here.)  Those of us who came of age in the early days of feminism (early 70's) have been seen to be disloyal to our sisterhood by not supporting Hillary Clinton.  Today The Root posted an extraordinary letter written by Alice Walker that so beautifully puts that into perspective.  I encourage you to read it here.

This morning, already weepy over missing my getaway with my sweetie and my heart aching over thinking of my dear friend being beaten, I watched this video from last May by slam poet Darian Dauchan..."Damn you, Barack Obama..."  (It includes profanity, but I think you can handle it.)  And I broke down.  This one's for you, A, wherever you are...