an update

Been having some computer issues this morning (nothing major...just the universe's way of telling me to get off this machine).  ;)  I wanted to bring you up to date.  Around midnight on Thursday night, our school board voted 3-2 to keep our secondary schools configured the way they are now for one more year.  What that means is that the 9th graders will remain at the junior highs instead of making our high school a 4-year one, and all three junior highs (including the one where I work) will remain open.

I barely had time to let the reality of that late-night decision sink in though because first thing Friday morning the principal called those of us who work in the classified union into her office to remind us that cuts to our union are coming next.  I don't know what that will mean for my job.  The next board meeting is April 17 and I don't know what will be on the agenda.

I appreciate everyone's support through what's been an anxious couple of months.  Now that the school has been saved, I need to turn my focus inward and figure out what *I* want to do next (school) year.  Because I don't want to put a lot of energy into trying to keep some sort of (even cobbled-together) position there for next year if my heart's not in it. 

I'm feeling WAY behind personally...with online stuff...going through paperwork at home...we need to still do our tax returns...and getting myself fully healthy again.  (We'll see if my brother's home remedy of local honey makes a difference in my hay fever--just bought a jar at the farmer's market.)  ;)  I need to get back into my own good graces (if that makes sense).  Not to mention that it's the 5th and I haven't written a single poem yet for National Poetry Month. 

I'm craving some decompression time this weekend.  Quiet time...looking inward.  I did want to mention though that today is my 'sobriety birthday'--18 years sober today.  That's my proudest accomplishment--because no one or no thing can ever take that away from me. 

I woke this morning thinking about trust.  I'm having a hard time trusting people in my 'real' life--getting burned a lot lately.  I fear this will sound horribly cynical and I honestly don't mean it that way:  I all too easily forget that big-hearted actions tend not to accompany small mindedness.  And the result is that I end up feeling hurt.  I tend to want to offer things up coming from a big-hearted place and it can feel painful when one's heart offerings are rejected or not even acknowledged.  I'm not going through any heavy-duty thing--if you were a fly on the wall, you might even wonder what I'm referring to.  It's just this:  We can't make people receive gifts...we can only offer them.  Sometimes the lack of receptivity can start to wear us down.  Come late summer, I'd like to find myself in a place where my gifts are welcomed.  That's all. 

And now I'm going to step away from the computer and enjoy some of this sunshine.  Have a wonderful weekend!